Sigh

For the past few days I have been on a low, for various reasons which I don’t want to pen down here. And since yesterday I have not been feeling too well either. And more than any other time I miss my mother the most in these times.
My Mum. Never gives up, never takes no for an answer, my biggest supporter, my biggest critic. I realized that as you grow up, you take their constant love, questions, nagging and well just about everything for granted. But know they make your world not just a better place, but the place to be in. They too know that being away from them; you’re going to miss everything about them.

Mummy always says: 'You’ll realize your mother's value when she's not around.’

Well, you know what I don't like to admit but actually love most about Mums, especially mine is that they're always right!!!!

I am missing my mother. Big time..

S cube :)

:) :) The S cube.. well.. madness , happiness, laughter, tears, conversations, randomness, and some more laughter and some more talk..  We can cry over things as silly as losing some certificates and mehendi on the hand not being nice.. and laugh about the same in the next breath.We can laugh and laugh and then laugh some more.. :)  

We can spend hours and hours together and feel like they were but a few minutes and all the moments spent together are .. well for the lack of any other word.. and to aptly describe it .. its Magical.. :D These guys are now one of the main reasons of my coming with a smile on my face to office..I absolutely cherish our breaks.. :) be it early morning catching up.. or the water breaks.. :) the chai/coffee/tang/gang/... or evening gap shap.. to our very legally organized "tecchiee gtalk group" chat talks.. :)   

Its amazing how God sends us angels everywhere, to make us realize that happiness is not just within reach, it is right here. Every day I thank Him for my lovely angels.. :) I love u gals.. I love the fact that we are so different in so many ways and yet so same in so many other ways.. I love Scube .. For what we are together.. :) :)

Cheers to us !!

moments

Sometimes. There is this fraction of a second, when you don't desire anything, you don't think about anything, you don't wish for something, you just be. I call it my perfect moments. Being content with me.
I have these quite often when I am at the beach. Be it even a dirty one, like that of juhu.
Something about the sea inspires me. I am filled with an awe which is laced with excitement.

My recent trip to mumbai, 4 days, was a whole new class of holiday. Only gopi and me. stayed at her uncles place.
The city ... i felt so comfortable there.
The local trains, the best buses, the black and yellow taxis.. Colaba, bandra, juhu, andheri, gateway of india, chowpatti, santa cruz, ghat koppar...the shopping. the eating at leopold, mondegar, theobroma, not just jazz by the bay..the walk down marine drive.. the walk on juhu beach...

Patience levels have reduced i noticed... wonder if thats because I am getting older and tolerance levels are decreasing. Sigh.

I think I am good to say bye bye to hyderabad. Wonder when that day will come though.

For today I am going to cherish the memory of my perfect moment that I had yesterday at juhu beach . Standing there with the waves at my feet, sun and sea facing me, the sky above me. And the smile on my face.

Shoot me !

And today my brother flew in from Delhi to surprise me. And when he calls me from the airport, what's my first reaction; I yell at him. Saying " Could you not plan it with me, I have work and blah blah". When, whennnnn did I become like this ?
He surprised me and  what a warm welcome I gave him :(

Later I did take a couple of hours off . I love him and I always enjoy our time together but today even that was tainted.

I feel miserable.

:(

"being scared is a good thing. it means you have something to lose."

yes, i am afraid.
aren't you?'

But what if you start worrying about all the wrong reasons and wrong things...

Today one of my real good friends was asked to leave.. no not recession.. Just plain nonsense.. just because he had an opinion and did not lick his managers arse.

I feel so .. i dont know. Devoid ......

Friend ... Friends.. Friend..

You win some friends and lose some friends and along the path you find yourself. My almost 2 years in Hyderabad have had such a strong impact on me. I never realized when I became so cynical and started trying to second guess peoples intentions and motives.

Sigh. But in some ways I have also realized that no matter how much my mind has changed (I will not get into , whether its changed for better or for worse), my heart is still the same. I still believe that people are good. Yes all of them. Some of them do things which may not be right, can be hurtful/painful which tarnishes your view about them. I still care very deeply about the people I think are my dear and close friends. Even if I do get disillusioned on the way, about what they are, what they believe, how they live etc etc.

Am I missing something? Because I don't befriend people for what they are. I love them for who they are.. All differences , similarities, everything and anything which makes them what they are.. Sometimes they take me for a fool, because though I get hurt I don’t necessarily show my pain. I still forgive. I move on.

My capacity to let go and let some things “just be “scares me.

I dreamt a Dream

I am not a person who has a lot of dreams.. or at least I dont remember most of them.Sometimes, I wake up knowing I had a dream about something not so pleasant.. which made me restless. And on other days, happy thoughts happy emotions happen..
But strange isn it .. quite often, i wake up just when I am going to dream the dream that I want the most.